Without You Things Go Hazy
by Genstarsmallpot92
Summary: Arthur/Gwen/Lancelot In which Arthur has been away for a very long time and Gwen and Lancelot share a mutual love/respect.


**A/N**~This was seriously written at 1 in the morning so I don't even know what this is :P but I was inspired.

Queen Guinevere is well aware of the fact that her husband has been gone for more than five months now battling mercenaries from Mercia. The battles she has heard from him in letters have been very bloody indeed, but he does not go into too much detail to save her from worrying-Instead he always asks for the state of her health, whether she's alright and the state of the Kingdom.

However much a joy it is too get such letters as this, it does nothing to ebb away the worry that eats her up as everyday passes. It's as it always is whenever Arthur goes away to these battles that he has been drawn into. She also fears for Merlin, and the Knight's that she is so very fond of, _for her brother_.

She feels half of herself. She feels the ache of not having those who she loves and cares about not here, of course she does not let this show, in case the people see, she does not want to seem weak, _not now._

_

* * *

_On a particular cold night Gwen wanders around the castles halls, sleep not coming easy to her this night. Her feet seem to have led her to an old hallway; she walks down it slowly-having not been around here in quite sometime. _No one_ does. Gwen comes to a stop at an oak door and her hand slightly trembles as she grasps the handle and slowly pushes it open, creaking as it does so.

The room is bathed in darkness, a sliver of moonlight shining on the bed from the window. The room has been untouched, not lived in. _Morgana's_ room. Gwen takes a look around her former Mistress's room, and can't help the slight ache that this cause's. She is no _friend_ of hers no more.

But what she wouldn't give to have her here again.

She trembles all the more.

* * *

Of course, Gwen isn't solely alone in Camelot she has made many acquaintances and friends, and some of the Knights remain here in Camelot, and Lancelot is here.

* * *

Lancelot often checks up on Gwen-and she can't help but wander if Arthur or Merlin arranged this.

Of course Gwen does not mind the kind smiles and some sort of semblance of happiness that Lancelot brings to her while those dearest to her are away.

She cares for him also.

* * *

Over time the letters that Arthur sends become far and few between, but Gwen knows that Arthur is growling tireless with all the blood that has been spilt.

She writes to him, needing to somehow show him that she believes in him and all his attempts at peace-she tells him she misses him and _loves_ him.

She gets no letter in reply.

* * *

Lancelot all but walks into Gwen in the hallway, and Gwen gasps, using Lancelot's arm's for leverage.

"Gwen, are you alright?"

Gwen ducks her head making contact with his shoulder.

* * *

The lower town is ransacked by marauders, and Gwen's feels obligated to protect the people that live there-for she also used to live here.

Knights follow her into the lower town, and Gwen does not wait to give out orders-and steps into the fray.

She can see Lancelot to the side of her.

* * *

Lancelot finds Gwen sitting at the round table, paper work strewn about every which way.

Gwen looks up, looking slightly sheepish that she's in here.

But Lancelot understands her reasons for being in here, he misses Arthur too.

Gwen smiles slightly and tells him to sit. He's become her sole comfort while Arthur's been away.

….She's not sure how both of them were just talking idly and then somehow both of them are leaning in; and Gwen's suddenly aware of her surroundings and all she can think about is Arthur.

* * *

Arthur and his Knight's make camp in a desolate area of Athandan, having had to move to a safer area. The last month had been on Arthur's side as the mercenaries having run out of man power, and their leader defeated had retreated from the battle.

Merlin was fantastically pleased. And this seemed to heighten everybody else's elation.

Arthur watched as Merlin splayed out his hand, and a fire was quickly made on the earth.

Arthur warms his hands on the fire, and thinks of Gwen.

No letter in months.

* * *

Lancelot gives Gwen the news that Arthur has been spotted in the Northern territories.

And Lancelot cannot miss how Gwen's eyes start to brim with tears.

* * *

Arthur is all but galloping back to Camelot, Merlin and his Knight's in toe.

* * *

Gwen waits for Sir Leon to leave the throne room, leaving Lancelot and her alone.

She's about to speak but Lancelot holds his hand up. "We were both missing Arthur. Gwen. I shouldn't have-"

Gwen steps forward, understanding. "I know".

* * *

Gwen's standing on the parapet long before the people start to gather, word is that Arthur should be here very soon, and she doesn't know what to do with herself, so she _waits._

Sir Leon and Lancelot are on either side, and can't help but grin when she starts pacing.

The people also seem to be buzzing with excitement; it seems _everyone _had been without their King for far too long.

Sir Leon starts when he sees the men round the corner; a mass of red and silver from high up were they are.

Gwen can barely think over the roar of the crowd, and scans frantically for Merlin and Arthur.

She doesn't even realize she's crying when she catches sight of them as they draw closer, _alive_ and well. She briefly catches a glimpse of Lancelot's bright smile, before she moves to leave.

Arthur's already off his horse when he spots her running down to greet him.

Her smile is bright despite her tears as she runs for him; he doesn't even get a word out before her lips meld to his, the cheers seem far off and distant as he lends himself to her lips, breaking in between to say their 'I love you's' only to kiss again as she fists at his shirt.

* * *

Gwen tilts her head back her breathing shallow, as Arthur bites at her shoulder.

She doesn't feel half of _herself_ anymore, as they make love into the late hours of the night.


End file.
